Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Congratulations! We have a period
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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