you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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