I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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