threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize