Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
