my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
