I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
