Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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