He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
