i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
