And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Panties = found
Randomize
