I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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