before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
