I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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