Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
