did you get engaged???
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
