i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
