Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
