I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
