i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
