I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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