i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize