i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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