not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm always down for nudity.
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