So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
