just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize