Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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