Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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