I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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