ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
