Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
