we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
