She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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