great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
