"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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