this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize