We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
In America we eat man semen.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
