Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
