I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
