But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
