I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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