Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
