Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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