Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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