I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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