I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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