you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
