Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
