Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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