so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
