The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
