On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
