Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
