I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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