hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
