we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
