Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
