Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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