I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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