Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
