NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
