): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
