hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
