My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize