They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
