i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
