sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
