Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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