YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
