OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
