I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
