Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
